If you don't like your outcomes, change your responses.
In 1994, North ridge earthquake had damaged one of the main free ways leading into the city. Traffic was at a standstill, and what was normally a 1-hour drive had become a 2-3 hour drive.
The CNN reporter knocked on the window of one of the cars stuck in traffic and asked the driver how he was doing.
He responded angrily, "I hate California. First there were fires, then floods, and now an earthquake! No matter what time I leave in the morning. I'm going to be late for work. I can't believe it!"
Then the reporters knocked on the window of the car behind him and asked the second driver the same question. This driver was all smiles. He replied, "It's no problem. I left my house at five am. I don't think under the circumstances my boss can ask for more than that. I have lots of music cassettes and my Spanish- language tapes with me. I've got my cell phone. I have coffee in a thermos, my launch- I even brought a book to read. So I'm fine.
Now, if the earthquake or the traffic were really the deciding variables, then everyone should have been angry. But every one wasn't. It was their individual response to the traffic that gave them their particular outcome. It was thinking negative thoughts or thinking positive thoughts leaving the house prepared or leaving the house unprepared that make the difference. It was all a matter of attitude and behavior that created their completely different experiences. What a attitude situation is same response is different, so don't blame, weather, your parents, circumstances it's you change yourself. If you want achieve every think waht you perceive, you can, only youcan!
Going to be recession; so I've decided not to participate
Owner of Lexus dealership in Southern California. When the Gulf war was broke out, people stopped coming in to buy Lexuses, they knew that if they didn't change their response to the event of nobody coming into the showroom, they were going to slowly go out of business. Their response would have been to continue placing ads in the news paper and on the radio, then wait for people to come into the dealership. But that wasn't working. The outcome they were getting was a steady decrease in sales. So they tried a number of new things. The one that worked was was driving a fleet of new cars out to where the rich people were-the country clubs, marinas, polo grounds, parties in Beverly Hills and West Lake Village- and then inviting them to take a spin in a new Lexus.
Now think about this........have you ever test-drives a new car and then got back into your old car? Remember that feeling of dissatisfaction you felt a syou just driven? Your old car was up until then. But suddenly you knew there was something better- and you wanted it. The same thing happened with these folks. After test driving the new car, a high percentage of the people bought or lease a new Lexus.
The dealership had changed their response to an unexpected event- the war- until they got the outcome they wanted.........increased sales. They actually ended up selling more cars per week than before the war broke out.
During childhood, we form attitudes that last a lifetime. Undoubtedly, it would be easier to acquire a positive attitude during our formative years.If the combination of our inborn temperament and our early childhood experiences have produced a positive attitude. But, if we have acquired a negative attitude, whether by design or by default-are we stuck with it? Of course not. We can change.
During childhood, we form attitudes that last a lifetime. Undoubtedly, it would be easier to acquire a positive attitude during our formative years.If the combination of our inborn temperament and our early childhood experiences have produced a positive attitude. But, if we have acquired a negative attitude, whether by design or by default-are we stuck with it? Of course not. We can change.
How To Build A Positive Attitude
- Become aware of the principles that build a positive attitude.
- Desire to be positive.
- Cultivate the discipline and dedication to practice those principles.
As adults, regardless of our
environment, education and experience, who is responsible for our
attitudes? We are. We have to accept responsibility for our behavior and
actions. Some people blame everyone and everything but themselves. It
is up to us to choose our attitude every morning.
People
with negative attitudes often blame the whole world-their parents,
teachers, spouse, bosses, the stars, fate, luck. the economy and the
government-for their failures.
You
have to get away from the past. Dust yourself off and get back into the
mainstream. Put your dreams together and move forward. Thinking of the
positive things that are true, honest and good, will put you in a
positive state of mind.
If you want to build and maintain a positive attitude, you need to consciously practice the following steps:
Change Focus, Look for the Positive
You
need to become a seeker of good. You need to focus on the positive in
your life. Start looking for what is right in a person or situation
instead of looking for what is wrong. Because of our conditioning, most
of us are so attuned to finding fault and looking for what is wrong that
we often forget to see the positive picture.
Look for the Gold
Andrew
Carnegie came to America from Scotland and as a young boy. He started
out by doing odd jobs and ended up as one of the largest steel
manufacturers in United States. At one time, he had 43 millionaires
working for him. A million dollars is a lot of money today, but in the
1920s it was worth much more.
Someone once asked Mr. Carnegie
how he dealt with people. Andrew Carnegie replied, "Dealing with people
is a lot like digging for gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold
you have to move tons of dirt, you go looking for the gold."
Andrew Carnegie's reply has a
very important message. Though sometimes it may not be apparent there is
something positive in every person and every situation. We have to dig
deep to look for the positive.
What is your focus? Search for
the gold. If you are looking for what is wrong with people or with
things, you will find many faults. What are we looking for? Gold or
dirt? Even in paradise, fault finders will find faults. Most people find
what they are looking for. Looking for the positive does not necessarily mean overlooking faults.
Be an Optimist
Be
so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk healthy,
happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your
friends feel that you appreciate their good qualities and strengths.
Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only of the best, work only
for the best, and expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the
success of others as you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the
past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give
everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no
time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for
anger.
Make a Habit of Doing it Now
We
have all procrastinated at some time in our lives. I know I have, only
to have regretted it later. Procrastination leads to a negative
attitude. The habit of procrastination fatigues you more than the effort
it takes to do it. If you want to build and maintain a positive
attitude, get into the habit of living in the present and doing it now.
When I become a big boy
This
is like the little boy who says when he becomes a big boy, he will do
this and that and will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says
that when he finishes college he will be happy. And when he finishes
college he says that when he gets his first job he will be happy. And
when he gets his first job he says that when he gets married, then he
will be happy. And when he gets married he says when the kids get out of
school he will be happy. And when the kids get out of school, he says
that when he retires, he will be happy. And when he retires, what does
he see? He sees life has just gone by in-front of his eyes.
Live in the present
Let's
make the best of now and utilize the present to the fullest. The
message is not that we don't need to plan for the future. The message is
that we do need to plan for the future. If we utilize our present to
its fullest, we are sowing the seeds for a better future.
If you want to build a positive attitude, learn "do it now" and stop the habit of procrastination.
Never leave till tomorrow, which you can do today- Benjamin Franklin
When
people say, "I will do it one of these days," you can be sure it means
none of these days. Some people keep waiting for all the lights to turn
green before they leave home. That will never happen. They fail even
before they start. Stop procrastinating: Isn't it time that we put off
putting things off?
Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
Count
your blessings, not your troubles. Take time to smell the roses. Many
of our blessings are hidden treasures-count your blessings and not your
troubles.
Get into a Continuous Education Program
Intellectual
education influences the head and values based education influences the
heart. In-fact, education that does not train the heart can be
dangerous. If we want to build character in our offices, homes and
society, we must achieve a minimum level of moral and ethical literacy.
Education that builds fundamental traits of character-such as honesty,
compassion, courage, persistence and responsibility-is absolutely
essential.
We
don't need more academic education; we need more-based education. A
person who is morally educated will be a lot better equipped to move up
in life or succeed than will a morally bankrupt person, with excellent
academic qualification.
In a nutshell, educated persons
are those who choose wisely and courageously under any circumstances. If
they choose between wisdom over foolishness, good over bad, virtue over
vulgarity, regardless of the academic degrees they have, then they are
educated.
Education without values
True
education is training of both the head and the heart. An uneducated
thief may steal from the freight car but an educated one may steal the
entire railroad. We need to compete for knowledge and wisdom and not for
grades. Knowledge is piling up facts, wisdom is simplifying it. One
could have good grades and a degree and still not learn much. The most
important thing one can learn is to "Learn to Learn." People confuse
education with the ability to memorize facts. Educating the mind without
morales creates a maniac in society.
We often are told that knowledge
is power. Not really. Knowledge is information. It is potential power
and it becomes power only when it is acted upon. Difference between a
person who cannot read and a person who can, but does not read?
Learning is a lot like eating.
It is not how much you eat that matters, what matters is how much you
digest. Knowledge is potential power; wisdom is real power. Education
takes many forms; it is not just grades and a degree. It is:
- Cultivating your strength
- Learning self-discipline
- Listening
- Eagerness to learn
Our minds are like muscles, stretch or shrink, it all depends on how much or how little we exercise them.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance-Derek Bok
Intelligence
is quickness to learn. Skill is an ability. Competence is the
ability along-with the willingness and desire to apply what is learned.
Desire is the attitude that makes a skillful person competent. Many
skillful people are incompetent. Ability without the right attitude is
wasted.
The first duty of a university is to teach wisdom, not trade; character, not technicalities- Winston Churchill
Build a Positive Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the way we feel
about ourselves. When we feel good within, our performance goes up and
our relationships improve both at home and at work. The world look
nicer.
Stay Away from Negative Influences
Impressionable minds get
influenced by adult behavior and the media. Peer pressure affects not
only children and teenagers, it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a
lack of self esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No,
thank you," and stay away from negative influences.
Negative People
Most
people go to their graves, with music still in them. We don't achieve
excellence because of our own lack of vision. Whenever people succeed in
life, petty people will take cracks at them and try to pull them down.
When you refuse to fight petty people, you win. In martial arts, they
teach that when someone takes a crack at you, instead of blocking you
should step away. Why? Blocking requires energy. Why not use it more
productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to
come down to their level. That is what they want, because now you are
one of them.
Don't let negative people drag
you down. Remember that a person's character is not only judged by the
company they keep but also by the company they avoid
Negative Movies and Television Programs
Today's
kids are learning their attitudes and values more from television and
movies than from any other source. It is estimated that in the United
States, by the time a youngster gets out of high school, he has watched
more than 20,000 hours of television, witnessed 15,000 murders, and
watched 100,000 alcohol-related commercials. Television programming and
advertisements convey the message that drinking is fun, smoking is
glamorous, and drugs are the "in" thing. No wonder the crime rate is so
high!
Soap operas and other television
shows as well as movies glamorize premarital and extramarital sex. No
wonder commitments are lacking in relationships and divorce rates are
high. Impressionable viewers set their standards and benchmarks based on
what they see and hear in the media. And no matter who we are, we are
all impressionable to varying degrees.
Profanity
Using profanities show a lack of vocabulary, self-control, and discipline.
Rock Music
The lyrics of some hit songs are obscene. The music we hear and the performances we watch can subconsciously influence us.
Learn to like the things that need to be done
Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible- St. Francis of Assisi
Some
things needs to be done whether we like them or not; for example,
mothers caring for their young's. This may not always be fun, and may
even be painful. But if we learn to like the task, the impossible become
possible.
Start Your Day with Something Positive
Read or listen to something
positive first thing in the morning. After a good night's sleep we are
relaxed and our subconscious is receptive. It sets the tone for the day,
and puts us in the right frame of mind to make the day a positive day.
In order to bring about change, we need to make a conscious effort and
be committed to make positive thoughts and behavior part of our lives.
Practice having positive thoughts and behavior daily until they become a
habit.
If you are going to change your life, you need to start immediately.-William James
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you will be doomed if you don't try-Beverly Sills
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